What is the Emotional Self? — The Core of Your Inner Self

Allen Justin Vanderwende
8 min readMay 22, 2021

What is the emotional self?

As we catapult forward in our collective development, understanding, and

application of various kinds of technology and our understanding of the world and universe around us, it seems that the one thing many people are having difficulty understanding still is, ourselves!

And when I say ourselves I mean that on every level of course, but primarily as it relates to our inner well-being, our inner self, the emotional self or our core self.

It would seem that this is one area that is still quite baffling to many people, even in the world of mental health and healing.

But it’s time to begin to understand this aspect of ourselves, what our emotional needs are, how we relate to each other, and how to be happy in a way that renders mass ignorance of this subject a thing of the past.

In my own experience of not understanding what my emotional self was, or even what I was feeling and in trying to get the issue rectified, I noticed that there is an overwhelming deficit in what people generally know about our emotions and what many refer to as our emotional self.

It’s my goal to help to clarify this and make getting in tune with and being able to heal our emotional self as natural as drinking a glass of orange juice.

Beginning to Understand Our Emotional Self

So what is the emotional self anyway? Is it a real thing?

Well, simply put, yes it is.

Believe it or not there is currently not even a specific definition for what the emotional self is that is universally agreed upon.

There are theories and tips on how to deal with various aspects of our emotional well-being so that we can be happy and free inwardly.

But by in large what we call the emotional self is still something of a mystery.

I’d like to share my two cents based on my own personal experience.

So the emotional self, or our core inner self is not only real, but is really the very fabric of our very being.

The emotional self is essentially who and what we are and the way we experience and feel about life and the world around us.

You could also say this is our feeling self, but the truth is this aspect of our self is not really separate from who and what we are.

It’s the foundation of our well-being, and getting to understand it and to get its needs met is not only a real joy, but it’s the source of joy itself.

What is Our Emotional Self Anyway?

I really like the concept of the emotional self because this is really the bridge between what we’d call our everyday physical world we live in and the inner more spiritual side of things.

This is the primary connection between the two worlds of physicality and spirituality, but it’s also a great starting point for people to be able to find themselves and real joy in life, even if they don’t have any interest in spirituality.

In my experience the emotional self is sort of like a barometer for where we are in life and for where you should be headed.

And when I say ‘should’ be headed, I mean more along the lines of that place in life that is our calling or our true passion.

My own experience with my emotional self was like the hot and cold game if you remember that.

The closer you get to a particular object with your eyes closed, someone will tell you you are getting warmer, and the further away they’ll tell you you’re getting colder.

So it is with the emotional self. The closer I get to getting my emotional needs met and to what I truly enjoy in life, the more I can feel a sense of joy in the core of my being.

And the more I stray away from getting my emotional needs met by being in unhealthy emotional situations, or by doing things and being involved with things that I am just not passionate about, the less joy I would feel.

Essentially you could say I’m describing what people have said as following one’s heart in life.

The heart is your emotional self, and getting in tune with it and learning about it is in my experience one of the most precious gifts about life, but you are simultaneously getting in tune not only with true joy in life, but with your very self.

Your Emotional Self is the Gateway to Your Happiness

With all this talk of finding your true joy in life, following your heart, and in finding your true self, you might be gathering that the process of getting in tune with your emotional self is the process of starting to find real and lasting happiness within you.

Many people feel that the subject of emotions or of getting in tune with themselves emotionally is an uncomfortable topic or proposition.

In many cultures men in particular have been sort of taught, trained, and conditioned that emotions are connected to weakness or somehow damper their manliness if they were to get in tune with them or express them.

The consequence of course is that many simply end up dissociating or suppressing their emotions and their emotional selves to the point where they are fundamentally unhappy on the inside, and seek to get that happiness met through many avenues that might be considered unhealthy, such as unhealthy relationships or substance abuse.

So instead of denying the fact that we have an emotional self or an emotional body and suppressing it and making ourselves unhappy and miserable which will then reverberate out to others and affect them, especially if they have children, why not start to embrace this part of ourselves and learn to live in harmony with it?

The Importance of Tending to Your Emotional Self

The reality of the matter is, our emotional self is a fundamental part of who and what we are as human beings.

It’s true that it’s an invisible aspect of who and what we are to the naked eye, but it is still very much a part of us the same way any other aspect of our being is.

Imagine if for some odd reason certain people or cultures were convinced that there was something wrong with their ears and that they should be ashamed to have them, to have them exposed, and that we should cover them up as much as we could.

Well not only is that a silly idea in and of itself because our ears are a key and natural part of our being, but the more we covered them over and suppress them the less we’d be able to hear people, to connect with them, and to get through life!

Wouldn’t it be much easier and more enjoyable to just be who you are?

Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C in Rockwell Maryland wrote an article in Psychology Today where she says that there are 3 fundamental reasons to let yourself feel:

  1. When we numb our feelings in any way we also numb our ability to feel joy and happiness
  2. Not tending to our emotional needs generally leads to even more suffering in our lives
  3. We can’t experience a full life without experiencing and processing our feelings

Try Getting Acquainted With Your Emotional Self

It’s possible that if you’re reading this you are already well acquainted with your emotional self.

For you, knowing your inner needs and how to get them met is completely natural.

But it’s also possible that this area of your life and being is somewhat unexplored and maybe even a bit foreign and uncomfortable for you.

Either way, I’d highly recommend starting to get in tune with your inner self and your emotional self.

You can start by simply asking yourself how you’re doing once in a while.

If you’d like, try to spend some time writing out how you feel about a particular topic that is bothering you.

Ask yourself what your true joy is, if you are happy where you are or not, and then ask yourself what you could do that would make you feel better.

Try speaking to people from your center and in what you’d really like to say.

One powerful and astonishingly simple method for tending to your emotional needs without having to wonder what you’re actually feeling or from going from workshop to workshop, can be contained in a special technology I’ve found and used for many years called Holosync Audio Technology.

With Holosync, one is able to safely, effortlessly, and in the comfort of their own home, begin to access their inner selves.

Holosync will powerfully allow unresolved and “stuck” emotional issues that are causing distress in your life to be brought to the surface so that you can consciously and easily let them go.

As I’ve stated I’ve used Holosync for years and I cannot tell you how much inner peace, joy, clarity, and emotional relief it has brought me.

Regardless of whether you’d like to try Holosync or not, the more you are able to get in tune with your inner and emotional self you will find that you will feel an increasing sense of relief and peace deep within you and you’ll be guided to things that will help to take you deeper.

It might seem a little uncomfortable but I promise you the rewards will be more than anything the world has to offer.

Bringing it All Together

So to wrap it up and put all this into perspective, the emotional self, although invisible to the naked eye, is the core part of our true being.

It is not only something that can be experienced, but is really the place where we feel everything within ourselves, where we feel sadness, grief, anger, jealousy and every other emotion, but it’s also where we experience peace love and joy when we find it.

Many of us are either unaware of this aspect of ourselves, shove it down and suppress it, or don’t take care of it at all.

This leaves us feeling off or unhappy within, and leads us to try to get our inner needs met through more unhealthy means such as unhealthy relationship addictions, substance abuse, or worse.

We don’t have anything to fear about becoming more aware of, in tune with, and of tending to our own emotional selves.

In fact, when we do start to turn within and uncover our emotional selves we will start to find true and lasting happiness, and in my own opinion, is also the beginning of experiential spirituality.

So what do you think?

Are you someone who is in tune with your emotional self already, or are you someone who has been having some trouble finding your own inner self and have been having trouble with happiness?

Let me know your thoughts and feelings in the comments below.

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Allen Justin Vanderwende
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Hi, my name is Justin and I am a freelance writer for hire! My niches include personal development, emotional health and well-being, and digital marketing.